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I worked a little on Mothersday, yes Mothersday, like Sunday, only sweeter. Had a mini tantrum, felt unloved due to excess technology in the house. Brunch at City Beverage or as Bun calls it CityEv. My sweet boy gave me some sweet basil. Home for some quiet and more tech, only this time it was my turn.
The afternoon was filled with trips to the garden shops and hardware stores. Bookshops and Homegoods, and finally ending at the American Tobacco Campus in downtown Durham. One of my most favorite spaces in Durham.
Garlic fries and golden light and smiling, giggling running boy. Just felt so right.
Its been raining around here. A lot. So much that we have had to stay housebound the past few mornings. Its not all bad though, plenty of snuggling on the couch and watching movies and playing cars, and looking out of windows. I want to say that because I was home I got my house whipped into shape, but no I didn’t. It still looks like we just moved in. I’m hopeless.
But when it stops raining and it is time to kick off the blankets and the boots and just run and run and run outside.
Nothing makes Bun happier than rolling around the grass these days.
Scenes from the past few days:
“I have a red wagon” is one of Bun’s favorite sentences these days. He tells me this, everytime we leave the house or return home, because the red wagon is parked outside with the cars. We got the wagon as a holiday presents from a good friend of ours and it has been a huge hit!
Last weekend, we had spring like weather and we took an impromptu family walk ( with the red wagon of course) to enjoy all the sunshine.
Bun: “I push Mama”
Linking the photo portion to the Simple Things Challenge over on Simple as that
Notes to Self:
Life in January seems to be starting out well. I have 2012 set aside to figure out what I want to do with the my life? Am I really a grown up yet? So many things to learn and figure out.
Some good friends are going to be returning to Durham for a visit this weekend. It is making me really happy to think we’ll get to hang out with them and even though they met Bun when he was baby, it will be like meeting him all over again, since he is completely different now. I’m also looking forward to some, fun, crazy grown up time with them as well.
Bun’s sentences and sayings are killing me these days. Faves of this week-
Me: Lets go upstairs and clean your poop and change your diaper
Bun: I’m sick of clean up
Bun: (Sniffs Layla’s bum) Layla need diapoo change
“I’m Okay” He says this whenever he needs some reassurance or has bumped his head, but not hurt himself enough to get any reaction from me.
“Daddy, you give me____” Usually followed by something I won’t give him aka blueberries, lollipop or candy
“What a Funny Fellow” My dad taught him this phrase and he says this with the biggest grin on his face whenever he or anyone else does something funny or silly.
It was because these shoes were a terribly buy and made his feet sweaty and stinky.
J would say “Stinky Shoes” every time he took the kiddo’s shoes off. And Bun would giggle
Bun now says “Stinky Shooz” every time he spots a pair of shoes. Any shoes.
Now, he says “Stinky” every time I take off his shirt to change his clothes.
When I change his diaper, He says “Stinky”
The LaylaB comes in from the yard, he says “Stinky”
Its the favorite word around here these days
This is the week from hell!!!
I am working 42 hours , juggling school, a huge paper(15% of my grade) an econ test and starving all the time. I am so exhausted, sometimes i’m so stressed out, i can’ turn my brain off, no matter how tired I am .
J has his own shit going on, and is just as busy as me, we ar existing in seperate spheres in the moment, maybe over the weekend taht will connect and I’ll get a little relaxation.
I got the highest score on my marketing test in both the sections. Hey its nice to know I’m at least smarter than 65 random girls. As NG says- Go positive reinforcement.
Last night J and I took layla on a walk to the elementary school by our house and ran across a stray lost puppy. She was really friendly and very happy to see us. She and Layla had a lot of fun playing together. Anyway, it was getting cold and we brought her home for the night and then had to take her to the shelter this morning. I felt really bad, there’s just this awful feeling of how wrong it is to drive a dog to a shelter, instead of bringing it home.
I know its not a big deal, but it really felt like it was one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, because I know what happens to the dogs that don’t get adopted. But I do recognize that if Layla got lost, I would want someone to do the exact same thing, take her to the shelter, cuz she would be well cared for and it would be easy fior me to find her. Although, given how spoilt and obnoxious layla is, I doubt her chances of getting adopted would be very high.
Having a nice, mellow puppy around also made us painfully aware, how obnoxious laylz can be sometimes. I don’t think she knew if she was trying to get more attention from the dog, or us, but she knew that *everyone* had to give her attention. Is this a common trait of an only child? Am I like this ? I guess sometimes, but I feel most people are like this sometimes. And also, I plan on reproducing only once, so there’s a higer than 50% chance that I won’t have twins and I’ll raise an only child as well. And if J is the dad , then the kid is in trouble, cuz we have thoroughly spoilt Layla into manipulative, needy brat.
In other news, I feel kinda guilty for not being around NG, not that she is very needy anymore, and seems to have a seperate group of friends from me, but i guess i do like her and miss her, so i’ll try to make a bigger effort to hang out with her soon.
Title : Lost Woman SongArtist : Ani DifrancoAlbum : Like I Said———————————————————————————for lucille cliftonI opened a bank accountwhen I was nine years oldI closed it when I was eighteenI gave them every penny that I’d savedand they gave my bloodand my urinea numbernow I’m sitting in this waiting roomplaying with the toysand I am here to exercisemy freedom of choiceI passed their handheld signswent through their picket linesthey gathered when they saw me comingthey shouted when they saw me crossI said why don’t you go homejust leave me aloneI’m just another woman lostyou are like fish in the waterwho don’t know that they are wetas far as I can tellthe world isn’t perfect yethis bored eyes were obsceneon his denim thighs a magazineI wish he’d never come here with mein fact I wish he’d never come near meI wish his shoulderwasn’t touching mineI am growing olderwaiting in this linesome of lifes best lessonsare learned at the worst timesunder the fierce flourescentshe offered her hand for me to holdshe offered stability and calmand I was crushing her palmthrough the pinch pull wincingmy smile unconvincingon that sterile battlefield that seesonly casualtiesnever herosmy heart hit absolute zeroLucille, your voice still sounds in memine was a relatively easy tragedynow the profile of our countrylooks a little less hard nosedbut that picket line persistedand that clinic’s since been closedthey keep pounding their fists on realityhoping it will breakbut I don’t think there’s a one of usleads a life free of mistakes